If you’ve read my blog at all before you know I’ve said that I am soft.
I’ve also said I won’t ever apologize for being soft and feeling too much, but sometimes I wish I just didn’t have to feel for as long. One of the things that was always so reassuring was knowing that at some point or another those feelings- those heavy, dark, thick and uninvited feelings, are going to be gone. When those feelings become one’s that flee from your heart, from your mind, from your afternoon thoughts and during your midnight frustrations when you’re busy mind won’t quiet, just know that those feelings- like all feelings, are temporary. Lately everything I’ve been feeling has been washed over and left unprocessed and unappreciated simply because I’ve realized that feelings are like visitors. I guess some visitors are invited into our homes, into our lives, into our hearts without realizing that often there is a time for them to go.
Other visitors are uninvited.
Some feelings, are so uninvited.
Doubt, you are uninvited. Inadequacy, you are uninvited. Apprehension, you are uninvited. Bitterness, you are uninvited. Anxiety, you are uninvited.
As disheartening as it is too sometimes have visitors overstay they’re welcome, find comfort in knowing that they are just that, visitors. Know that the visitors and the feelings that you continue to invite into your life and into your heart, your soul and then to the deepest parts of yourself, those visitors remind you to always be appreciative of what you are feeling, and why.
— I’VE ALWAYS BEEN OF THE NATURE TO REACT INITIALLY UPON MY FEELINGS, REGARDLESS OF THE TIME MY HEART NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND AND PROCESS THEM- BUT THAT IS SOMETHINGS I WILL ALSO NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR.
This used to be one of the things that often got me in unfavourable situations, but I think that if this has transpired into any other lessons in life, its to always give time, and ask for as much grace as you do patience. Somehow there are feelings that crawl into the back of our minds and manifest in such ways that leave us wondering how they’ve festered into what they are, and this I know first hand. It is so hard to learn from the things you are feelings, and truly appreciate them if we disregard them as a whole. It would be the most honest and vulnerable truth to say that it’s simply easier to tuck those feelings away because thats easier than dealing with them- I’m sure as hell guilty for this.
Be brave. Be intentional. Be so big-hearted it scares you. Be so honest with what you are feeling, and don’t try to brush it away like it holds no value because they all hold value, even though we might not see it just yet. Be patient, be so so God damn patient.
My wish is that I can continue to remember that feelings, of all natures, are visitors. There are days where your heart and head are full of unwanted, yet not unneeded, visitors, but remember that they are necessary. They are necessary to remind you to that the good will always outweigh the bad. Divulge understanding and appreciation to those corners where there only formidable feelings that you want nothing to do with- because in the end, understanding these unwanted visitors are really just as important appreciating the ones we want our hearts flooded with.